Annoying Fundamentalists

New Age Wisdom Generator

It has been said by some that the thoughts and tweets of Deepak Chopra are indistinguishable from a set of profound sounding words put together in a random order, particularly the tweets tagged with "#cosmisconciousness". This site aims to test that claim! Each "quote" is generated from a list of words that can be found in Deepak Chopra's Twitter stream randomly stuck together in a sentence.

http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/

Some of the quotes I got below:

"Your movement is the continuity of unparalleled miracles" 

"Knowledge corresponds to personal love" 

"Orderliness relies on the barrier of happiness" 

"Hidden meaning heals karmic space time events" 

Two kinds of people - G.K Chesterton

“In truth, there are only two kinds of people; those who accept dogma and know it, and those who accept dogma and don't know it.”

G.K. Chesterton

A Classic Christmas Gift in reverse

Child’s Description Of Heaven During Near-Death Experience Specifically Mentions Book Deal - The Onion

NEW YORK—Speaking for the first time since waking from a medically induced coma following a devastating car accident, 8-year-old Aiden Miller recounted an extremely vivid near-death experience Friday that reportedly contained detailed descriptions of heaven, angels, and a six-figure book deal. “I was walking up in the clouds and met friends, and strangers, and all these famous people who talked with me about all kinds of things and brought up the possibility of selling the rights to my story to a big-name publisher,” said the second-grader, who attested that during the five-minute period in which his heart had stopped on the operating table, he ascended to a shining, golden paradise where he says he met with the archangel Gabriel and a literary agent who has helped a number of authors secure multi-book deals with lucrative worldwide book tours. “Jesus was sitting at the right hand of God and my grandfather was right there, and they looked at me and smiled at each other and said I should ask for an $80,000 advance with 10 percent of back-end profits.” Miller added that he felt a profound sense of peace and well-being when Jesus told him to go forth and seek a blockbuster deal for the movie rights.

Awkwardly honest cards say what you’re actually thinking on special occasions

Parents Clinging To Lone Religious Element Of Daughter’s Wedding Ceremony - The Onion

ROCHESTER, NY—After sitting through an outdoor ceremony officiated by the groom’s best friend, local parents Scott and Linda McNeil were clinging to the lone religious element of their daughter’s wedding, sources confirmed Saturday. “The vows they wrote for each other were nice, but the passage from Corinthians they used on the back of the wedding program was just beautiful,” said Linda McNeil, adding that she and her husband were both deeply touched by the inclusion of the biblical quote “Love still stands when all else has fallen,” which appeared beneath a verse from a Sarah McLachlan song. “I’ve always loved that passage, and it’s a part of the Scripture that really captures who they are.” McNeil then added that she knew the small image of a dove above the quote would have made her late mother very happy.


A Portlandia Wedding too below (found from Mbird.com)

The Fifa Movie Reviews in a few lines

A couple of reviews of the Fifa movie, Ultimate Passions (that was also funded by Fifa and released after Blatter resigned)

"According to The Hollywood Reporter, the FilmBar cinema in Phoenix reported takings of just $9, meaning only one person bought a ticket."

Even better from the Guardian

"As cinema it is excrement. As proof of corporate insanity it is a valuable case study."

The trailer below:

Please Help Find Lionel Ritchie!

College Encourages Lively Exchange Of Idea - The Onion

Classic Onion...and University...

Students, Faculty Invited To Freely Express Single Viewpoint

BOSTON—Saying that such a dialogue was essential to the college’s academic mission, Trescott University president Kevin Abrams confirmed Monday that the school encourages a lively exchange of one idea. “As an institution of higher learning, we recognize that it’s inevitable that certain contentious topics will come up from time to time, and when they do, we want to create an atmosphere where both students and faculty feel comfortable voicing a single homogeneous opinion,” said Abrams, adding that no matter the subject, anyone on campus is always welcome to add their support to the accepted consensus. “Whether it’s a discussion of a national political issue or a concern here on campus, an open forum in which one argument is uniformly reinforced is crucial for maintaining the exceptional learning environment we have cultivated here.” Abrams told reporters that counseling resources were available for any student made uncomfortable by the viewpoint.

New Nike Running App Tells You What You’re Really Running From - The Onion

"Today's fitness trackers can tell you how far you're running but tomorrow's can tell you why you're running"

The Holy Ghost

Gustave from the Grand Budapest Hotel

"You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed, that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant … oh, f‑‑‑ it." 

- Monsieur Gustav

Career-Driven Man Beginning To Worry Entire Identity No Longer Tied To Job - The Onion

NEW YORK—In an alarming shift of mindset that is said to have occurred so gradually that he failed to notice it at first, Westport Data Systems senior manager and career-driven man Matthew Bowers expressed concern Friday that his identity was no longer exclusively tied to his job. “I always saw myself as a high-performance individual who was focused solely on working my way up to VP, but lately I’ve been worried that I may be developing aspects of my personality that have nothing to do with climbing the corporate ladder,” said Bowers, 42, noting that he has recently observed in himself an “unhealthy” level of preoccupation with personal interests, activities, and relationships that can in no way give him a leg up professionally. “Just the other day, I was telling my boss about my son’s soccer game—at work, mind you—and he responded by calling me ‘a real family man.’ My boss called me that. It was a huge wake-up call.” At press time, Bowers confirmed his intention to get back to his roots by leaving work no earlier than 9 p.m. tonight and missing his daughter’s piano recital.

The Work of the Holy Ghost/Spirit

How to be Ultra-Spirtual

One of the suggestions:

Rebel against the dogmatic religious terminology by using dogmatic spiritual terminology...

Entire Bible Summed Up in One Facebook Post

You Can Do Anything!!

Harry Potter's "Sequels"

"We're still friends today" First 6 minutes of What We Do In The Shadows